Five Signs You’re NOT Getting that Job

(and they have nothing to do with you!)

There’s no worse feeling than realizing that you’re wasting time at an interview. Here’s five ways to tell (early on) you’re not getting the job:

Your Interviewer is Late and/or Distracted

Yeah, I get it. I’ve been on the other side. You’re short staffed, overworked, AND trying to backfill. It’s tuff to come to an interview with full focus on the candidate…

Anyone interviewing you in this frame of mind is never going to choose you – why? Because they’re not really listening, they’re not engaged. They’re not confident in their choice because (in their mind), you’re a distraction, not the main event.

When I’m confronted with these types of interviews (and sadly, there are far too many of them), I’ll acknowledge the distractedness with an “I’m happy to reschedule this….” I’ve had a few people respond with a “Whew, yes! That would be wonderful…!” (My kinda people). Others who choose to power through? I know that absolutely nothing will come of it, so I see them as batting practice….

You’re More Qualified than Your Prospective Boss

Earlier in my career, this wasn’t a problem. As I’ve grown and sharpened over the past decades, it’s become a much bigger problem in getting hired – especially as an FTE – because there are few people who are able (and willing) to manage talent greater than their own.

There is no one “type” of boss who purposely hires less-than talent, but if I were to cast a big net, I’d say you’re going to encounter this with any person who is a single parent, and definitely any man with kids and a trad wife. They’re not going to do anything to jeopardize that meal ticket, and you showing up with your Master’s degree, industry certifications and “great ideas” is never going to get you hired.

The Place is a Dumpster Fire, and You Have FU Money

Similar to the above, there’s no shortage of interviewers who know the turnover is horrendous, so they’re sniffing around for signs of financial distress because slaves are less likely to leave. Be careful how you answer seemingly innocent questions, “Did you do anything fun this weekend?” “Do you have any vacations planned?” or even questions about “gaps” in your resume. You may think it makes you more desirable to tell you recruiter that you spent three months in France cultivating your Pino pallet, but what he’s going to hear is “He’s not ‘hungry’ enough…” and isn’t going to hang around for very long (and maybe they’re right).

You are V-E-R-Y Employable

Falling under the “more qualified” and “over qualified,” low-tier employers seem to fret constantly about being left at the alter. It’s interesting how small shops are the ones who complain the most about “spending all my time” hiring and then training someone only to have them leave in a year or two for $2-3 dollars an hour more. Oh, the ingratitude!

The majority of employers I speak with are happy to consider applicants with strong software skills, communication, organization abilities and the like, but like marrying a beautiful women or a very handsome man, there are those whose egos and insecurities simply cannot manage those relationships – so they choose (consciously or not), the C+ student who doesn’t have as many options…

They’re Only Window Shopping – Wow Me.

Whether the result of our swipe-left culture or just the old-fashioned hubris of “I’m PAYING you…” there’s no shortage of folks who just like to interview – sorta like those folks who just l-o-v-e shopping for cars – just in case they find something they might want to buy.

These folks are easy to spot because they have done zero real work to actually hire someone. There’s no JD, only a working title, and a Frankenstein wish-list of skills cobbled together by the “team.” The answer to the question of what they’re looking for is an arrogant, “I’ll know it when I see it…” because, of course, everyone and everything has its price, and everyone and everything is for sale (should they choose to purchase it).

Window shoppers are the most entitled of all interviewers. These narcissists use these interactions (steepled hands, 1:1, behind closed doors, no notes required), as their “feed.” They get off on watching people sweat, squirm, prostrate. They’re often rude, dismissive, and enjoy watching nervous applicants stumble to “Wow Me” while they interupt you with comments like, “I don’t care about that…” or “Your education mean nothing to me because your degree is in <humanities> (eye roll)…”

When you encounter a window shopper, don’t despair – step back, understand you’re only there for them to F with, and then use these interviews as practice F-ing with them. Lean in. Answer their “Wow me,” questions irreverently. Note how far you can push them – note their facial expressions, criticisms, and behavior. Store this experience for a time when you really do want to wow someone …..

Final pointer: When the Wow interviewer gives you the obligatory, “We have a minute or two left, do you have any question for me?” (Note: They don’t GAF about you or your questions – your questions are only for them to evaluate how “good” your questions are) smile, and politely say no – no questions – this isn’t a fit for me, thank you for the time, and my best wishes to you in your search. They’ll choke, and look on their face will make all the BS condescension worth it, I promise.

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