My yearly update of things I hope LinkedIn users will resolve NOT to do in 2026:

Bitching about Ghosting

“Don’t call us, we’ll call you…” has been around since the 1900s.  Ghosting isn’t going away no matter how many annoyed applicants end their posts with “do better.”

#livinginthepast #boomerbitching

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but….” Intros

IDK who started this intro line, but I’d like to hunt him/her down and explain what a target demographic is. If you don’t know who needs to hear this, WTF are you doing a vid for???

#makemehurl #annoyedAF

What the Applicant is Doing Wrong (In your Interview)

No shortage of people offering BS advise on how to lie your way into a job you cannot do. Two things are problematic with these 20-something sages. 1) The wanna be “influencer” content is trite-GPT-drivel everyone’s heard 1000X. (The “twist” is the mid-screen boob shot.) And, 2) Few talk about the outrageous behavior of hiring managers, and how employers are killing their reputation and brand with bad hiring practices.

#noonewantstoworkanymore

“Fear” Adverts from “Career” Coaches and Outplacement Firms

Similar to the above, the only thing more obnoxious than a 28-year-old wanna-be influencer touting her three years of insight and experience on how to navigate today’s “incredibly challenging” job market is a 32-year old bro touting his superior networking skills. (Daddy and/or your frat bro hooking you up with a gig isn’t the flex you think it is.)

 #nepobaby #cronycapitalism

Laid-Off Sycophants

Laid off? Been there. What I completely do NOT get is the need to post some sappy eulogy for a company that doesn’t GAF about you. All this BS about how proud you are, all your great loves and losses, and how you’re “ready for your new chapter”?? Gag…

These types of posts tell me that waaayyy too many people see their job as their #1 relationship, and #1 purpose in life. I’m sorry to inform you: Employment is transactional. Like buying bananas at CostCo, or a beer at the bar. Six months from now, they’re not going to remember your name….

To further illustrate the ridiculousness of these jerk-tear posts, consider the following: Would you post on social media how much you loved your ex-spouse, how you’ll treasure the great times together, and now that you’ve been kicked to the curb, you’re ready for “your next chapter”?!?! No, no you wouldn’t. Why: Coz it’s f-n WEIRD!!! That’s why!

#lookingforloveinallthewrongplaces

Employed Sycophants

Your off-site was productive?  Great.  You’ve got a new CEO?  Congrat’s. Your BFF was promoted? Nice. LinkedIn doesn’t need another obsequious corporate sycophant tearfully proclaiming how they “couldn’t be more proud to be associated with such an outstanding group of individuals.” 

Unless your ass-kissing is one of your KPIs, spare us.

#embarrassed4U

CEOs, Recruiters, Founders, et al “humble brags”

You’re fully remote?  Good for you!  You hired someone who had a 2-year gap in his/her resume?  I’m sure they were eminently qualified.  You hired a fresher/woman/minority/disabled individual who didn’t have the perfect resume, but you…with your tremendous leadership and magnanimous character … saw their potential? 

Stop sniffing for public praise and accolades for the most basic levels of decency.

#needy

Open to Work Banner

Si o No?  Stop talking about it!

#NoOneCares

Age Discrimination

You’re a white, Anglo-Saxon male, over 50, and now, for the first time in your ENTIRE life, you’re finding that you’re not the preferred demographic? WOW, what must that feel like!?!  Tell me more about how unfair corporate life is! Twenty-five years in tech, I’m sure I don’t know what it feels like to be marginalized, dismissed, or passed over in favor of some crony C-Student bro or a cheap H1b…

PS:  Maybe it isn’t your age? Maybe the field has leveled and you’re just “entitled”? Try working “twice as hard,” for half as much. You know, like the rest of us…

#whiner #equalityisoppression

WFH v. RTO

If you don’t want to work on site, don’t.  If you want to go into an office, go.  Stop trying to convert the heathens.  You’re as likely to convince a MAGA supporter that tariffs are inflationary.

#snore

“Behold” my Achievement

Unless you just won the Nobel Prize, no one is interested in your Udemy, Coursera or company-training certs. Add them to your profile and move on with your life.

Your Wedding, Your Kids, Your Holidays  

#facebook

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