Things I Hope NOT to See on LinkedIn in 2026

My yearly update of things I hope LinkedIn users will resolve NOT to do in 2026:

Bitching about Ghosting

“Don’t call us, we’ll call you…” has been around since the 1900s. Ghosting isn’t going away no matter how many annoyed applicants end their posts with “do better.”

#livinginthepast #boomerbitching

“I don’t know who needs to hear this, but….” Intros

IDK who started this intro line, but I’d like to hunt him/her down and explain what a target demographic is. If you don’t know who needs to hear this, WTF are you doing a vid for???

#makemehurl #annoyedAF

What the Applicant is Doing Wrong (In your Interview)

No shortage of people offering BS advise on how to lie your way into a job you cannot do. Two things are problematic with these 20-something sages. 1) The wanna be “influencer” content is trite-GPT-drivel everyone’s heard 1000X. (The “twist” is the mid-screen boob shot.) And, 2) Few talk about the outrageous behavior of hiring managers, and how employers are killing their reputation and brand with bad hiring practices.

#noonewantstoworkanymore

“Fear” Adverts from “Career” Coaches and Outplacement Firms

Similar to the above, the only thing more obnoxious than a 28-year-old wanna-be influencer touting her three years of insight and experience on how to navigate today’s “incredibly challenging” job market is a 32-year old bro touting his superior networking skills. (Daddy and/or your frat bro hooking you up with a gig isn’t the flex you think it is.)

#nepobaby #cronycapitalism

Laid-Off Sycophants

Laid off? Been there. What I completely do NOT get is the need to post some sappy eulogy for a company that doesn’t GAF about you. All this BS about how proud you are, all your great loves and losses, and how you’re “ready for your new chapter”?? Gag…

These types of posts tell me that waaayyy too many people see their job as their #1 relationship, and #1 purpose in life. I’m sorry to inform you: Employment is transactional. Like buying bananas at CostCo, or a beer at the bar. Six months from now, they’re not going to remember your name….

To further illustrate the ridiculousness of these jerk-tear posts, consider the following: Would you post on social media how much you loved your ex-spouse, how you’ll treasure the great times together, and now that you’ve been kicked to the curb, you’re ready for “your next chapter”?!?! No, no you wouldn’t. Why: Coz it’s f-n WEIRD!!! That’s why!

#lookingforloveinallthewrongplaces

Employed Sycophants

Your off-site was productive? Great. You’ve got a new CEO? Congrat’s. Your BFF was promoted? Nice. LinkedIn doesn’t need another obsequious corporate sycophant tearfully proclaiming how they “couldn’t be more proud to be associated with such an outstanding group of individuals.”

Unless your ass-kissing is one of your KPIs, spare us.

#embarrassed4U

CEOs, Recruiters, Founders, et al “humble brags”

You’re fully remote? Good for you! You hired someone who had a 2-year gap in his/her resume? I’m sure they were eminently qualified. You hired a fresher/woman/minority/disabled individual who didn’t have the perfect resume, but you…with your tremendous leadership and magnanimous character … saw their potential?

Stop sniffing for public praise and accolades for the most basic levels of decency.

#needy

Open to Work Banner

Si o No? Stop talking about it!

#NoOneCares

Age Discrimination

You’re a white, Anglo-Saxon male, over 50, and now, for the first time in your ENTIRE life, you’re finding that you’re not the preferred demographic? WOW, what must that feel like!?! Tell me more about how unfair corporate life is! Twenty-five years in tech, I’m sure I don’t know what it feels like to be marginalized, dismissed, or passed over in favor of some crony C-Student bro or a cheap H1b…

PS: Maybe it isn’t your age? Maybe the field has leveled and you’re just “entitled”? Try working “twice as hard,” for half as much. You know, like the rest of us…

#whiner #equalityisoppression

WFH v. RTO

If you don’t want to work on site, don’t. If you want to go into an office, go. Stop trying to convert the heathens. You’re as likely to convince a MAGA supporter that tariffs are inflationary.

#snore

“Behold” my Achievement

Unless you just won the Nobel Prize, no one is interested in your Udemy, Coursera or company-training certs. Add them to your profile and move on with your life.

Your Wedding, Your Kids, Your Holidays

#facebook

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December 29, 2025 0

It’s Time to Remove “Hiring Managers” from the Hiring Process

The recruitment and hiring process is broken. Ask any applicant, any recruiter, and any company looking for talent. If you asked any one of those folks what the major problem was in the talent acquisition process, they all would quickly agree: “hiring managers.”

The only reason a hiring (or direct) manager is even involved in the modern hiring process is because “that’s the way it’s always been.” Well, times have changed, the nature of business has changed, and the way we hire needs to change, too.

Hiring managers need to be removed from the hiring process. Here’s why:

Hiring Managers Hire for Themselves, Not the Company

Back in the day, the HR representative actually had a say in who was hired for the company. The idea was that HR was partnered with the long-term strategic view of the company’s needs, and they had developed a “resource strategy” to enable the company to achieve those goals. HR was also there to protect the company from cronies and unqualified nephews.

Ask anyone in HR today, and they’ll tell you that might be what’s on Earnings Call PowerPoint slide, but in reality, HR is there for paperwork. The “hiring manager” is all powerful, and he will hire whomever he wants. And, if he can’t hire who he wants, he’ll just leave the job open, or rewrite the JD/SOW to exclude everyone except exactly who he wants to hire.

That’s how the game is played. Don’t hate the player….

Hiring Managers Tolerate and Foster Other Bad Managers

I’ve lost count of the number of interview prep sessions I’ve sat in on where the core competency of the applicant needed to be his ability to “Put up with <FirstName>’s shit….” I’d submit that is not a business case to spend $150K per year, plus benefits. Has anyone considered that we might get rid of <FirstName> and her shit….??

Hiring Managers Do NOT Hire “Threats”

If you have more education, credentials, and experience than the hiring manager, you can pretty much write off getting that gig. It’s not you, it’s them. They don’t want to hire someone “overqualified.” In other words: Don’t outshine the master….

Only in corporate America does this overqualified BS make any sense. Could you imagine saying, “Yeah, we passed on that neurosurgeon because he came from a top tier school, has multiple awards, and has been in practice for 20 years. I don’t need someone so overqualified cutting open my skull.”

Hiring Managers have ZERO Expertise in Hiring

There are three things we don’t have in this world: Bad Lovers. Bad Drivers. And, bad judges of character.

I’ve asked interviewers and hiring managers over the years if the company provided any guidelines or training on hiring (maybe a checklist, but not much more). I also ask how they prepared to on-board talent. Did they take any classes, webinars, read a book, blog, watch any videos on interviewing and recruitment? This is waved off with a “Naah, I’m a r-e-a-l-l-y good judge of character….” (Says the twice divorced, estranged-from-his-three-children manager with the 2.8 Glassdoor rating :/) Yeah, that’s the man who should be representing your brand and interviewing all prospective analysts….

Hiring Managers are TERRIBLE Brand Ambassadors

According to a recently LinkedIn Poll, approximately 64% of all job applicants have encountered rude, distracted, or disrespectful hiring managers during their job interviews.

I’ve been around long enough to know that one person in a global enterprise might not represent the entire culture; however, you can see why talented people walk away from a rude, distracted, disrespectful hiring manager thinking, “<CompanyName>! What a bunch of aholes!”

Worse, people are likely to retell their interview horror story to friends and family; Maybe even post about it on Glassdoor or Reddit or LinkedIn or X.

Hiring Managers aren’t-thinking about how their behavior and interactions with prospective talent might be damaging the company’s reputation and brand. CEOs need to start thinking about it…

Rude hiring managers are looking for fear, trembling, and complacency, and as long as they’re permitted to interview and hire unsupervised, they will continue to churn and burn through talent. Glassdoor ratings tumble, followed by the fake reviews posted by Finsta employees, and before you know it, everyone in the industry knows it’s a shit place to work, and the investors can’t understand why you can’t make your deadlines and can’t close on talent.

If you are hiring, you need to remember this: YOU represent the brand, the company, the culture. Every interaction, every touchpoint is a chance to build or damage your brand. In many cases, YOU are the only person that applicant will ever meet from that company. S/he will walk away from that interview with an impression of the company that is inextricably intertwined with their impression of YOU.

If CEOs, BODs and executives knew how hiring managers were KILLING their company’s reputation and brand, they’d end the practice of 1:1 hiring manager interviews immediately.

Hiring Managers Have Little/No Knowledge about the Job Itself

This is not as uncommon as you might think….

Consider the idea of the hiring manager is a hold-over from the by-gone manufacturing and trade-based economy. In this context, a shop steward or tradesman had a certain knowledge, expertise, and could evaluate the skill of the applicant’s expertise. That’s just not the case in corporate and service industries.

It’s not uncommon to encounter hiring managers who know nothing about the work I’m going to do, nor any of the projects I’ll be working on, nor little about the team or client. I’ve lost count of the number of hiring managers I’ve asked specific questions to about the work, tools, team, budget, and they cannot answer a single one!!

No one who is serious about his career is going to accept a job when his boss cannot tell him a single thing about the work! (That’s provided the hiring manager has even given you time to ask about the work. For some, your questions are superfluous because your buy-in is simply not required.)

Candidates consistently complain of long interview cycles, and “culture” fit interviews with people who know nothing about interviewing, the work, the group, or the project — it’s a waste of everyone’s time. If you cannot speak to the work, the tools, the projects or the goals, you shouldn’t be interviewing anyone.

Hiring Managers are Easily Bribed, Kickbacks are Not Uncommon

The potential for abuse is greatest with 3P managed service providers. In these situations, we have mid-level managers, many of whom don’t have the authority to pick up the tab for lunch without prior approval, “supervising” hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in CapEx 3P consultants and vendors. The entire structure is a recipe for corruption. No wonder so many companies see a marked decline in quality and customer satisfaction when managed service providers take over.

Consulting companies sell bodies; they need to keep that T&M SOW funded, that H1b employed, and that project in their pipeline. Engagement managers are going to do whatever it takes to seal the deal. Hookers, drugs, off-the-radar personal “assistants.” I’ve seen hiring managers dump their entire workload on to 3P contractor (unbeknownst to their managers). This allows them to spend more time on important things: Like travel with their mistresses…

How to Fix It – Implement a Hiring Committee

Yep, I said it. A hiring manager puts in a request to Central Casting, and it’s fulfilled. That person meets both the requirements, and the company’s needs. Now, m-a-n-a-g-e them….

The hiring team model is popular in organizations serious about talent. Hiring committees are used at Amazon, IBM, and a myriad of other organizations, big and small. Why? It protects the company from bad hires, nepotism, and cronies. It ensures a transparent and quality recruitment process. It protects the company’s reputation and brand and ensures the company is well represented in all external touchpoints.

BTW, managers aren’t just stuck with whomever is given to them; they have the ability to ask for a change or request termination. But, you can’t cherry pick resources, hire someone you want to have a beer with, or abuse your H1b contractors. Your turnover is tracked, quantified, and duly noted. As it should be…..

Eliminate 1:1 Interviews

If you don’t feel like you can get behind a committee, you should prohibit any 1:1 interviews until the Hiring Manager is fully trained and vetted. That means you actually need to have an interview training policy. In all cases, hiring managers should never be left on their own to interview prospective staff without the supervision of an HR professional.

The idea that anyone at any time can represent themselves as an agent of the company to external resources and vendors with absolutely zero oversight or feedback is absurd! The only reason this ridiculousness has gone on for as long as it has is because “that’s the way it’s always been….”

Send the Rejected Candidates a Survey

Interesting how hiring managers are only people in a company protected from “feedback.” That needs to change. If you really want to know what your recruitment process is like, hire a third-party to send any candidate who interviewed, but was rejected, a “Candidate Survey.”

I’d recommend the following questions (Strongly Disagree <-> Strongly Agree)

The interviewers were prepared and engaged.
I had adequate time to present my skills and experience.
I understood the job’s responsibilities, goals, and how my work fit into the department/organization.
The interviewer(s) represented the company and brand in a professional and positive manner.
The recruiter/interviewers communicated with me throughout the entire recruitment process.
My time was respected.
I left with a positive view of the company, brand, and culture.
The on-line application process was user friendly.
I would consider other employment opportunities at the company.
I would recommend my friends or other associates to seek employment at the company.

Stop wasting your IT talent with stupid pop-ups in the middle of an on-line app, and annoying notifications asking me to evaluate your application’s web page! I’m not your QA ! Log on, parse some resumes, and do it yourself! Better yet, Mr. Hiring Manager, Executive VP, CEO, and HR director — log into your application site and (try to) apply. That’ll tell you everything you need to know about the application experience.

The fact that organizations have zero feedback or metrics on the interview experience speaks to the issue.

Final Thoughts…

Companies spend millions of dollars on marketing and branding. They host sales conferences, publish brand guidelines, train and supervise sales staff during client interactions, and monitor external correspondence all to ensure that the company is on point, on message, and being represented in the best possible light.

However, these same companies allow anyone to interview. What is overlooked in this external touchpoint is the irreparable damage that “hiring managers” can do to a company’s image, brand, and reputation.

Many CEOs and BODs and would be stunned at the damage done to their company’s reputation as a result of a poor hiring process.

When you interview prospective talent, YOU are the company. Your manners, your questions, your professionalism ….they represent the company and its culture. Your culture IS your brand; and, culture eats strategy for breakfast.

If you see your company in this essay, make changes while you still can. Once your reputation is gone, you’re not going to get it back.

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March 23, 2025 1

Your Applicant Wants to Record the Interview?(!)

Imagine, meeting a job applicant IRL. Perhaps at your office, maybe at a coffee shop. You sit down, introduce yourself, and then the applicant pulls out a tri-pod, sets up the phone, and says, “I hope you don’t mind if I record this…..”

What would you say?

I’m sure you would be shocked by the audacity.

You might respond with something like, “Ohh, err, I’m not comfortable with that….” or even “I don’t consent to being recorded,” to which the applicant responds…

“This is very common now. And, it’s really for YOUR benefit. In this way, I can focus on you, and our discussion, and not on taking notes! Plus, I’ll be able to review your questions and answers at my leisure, and then I’ll be able to share this video with my advisors, that way, we can all better understand the role and your company.”

Would you shrug, agree, and continue? I don’t think so…..

Stop asking people for one-way video interviews. Stop recording them. Stop bullying them into surrendering their words, image, and ideas to a 3P LLM just for the privilege of applying for a job.

If you found yourself offended by the audacity of an applicant taping you and your interview, be assured the applicant feels EXACTLY the same way! If you’re serious about bringing talent into your organization, offending applicants is not the way to do it.

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March 17, 2025 0

Eight Things I Hope NOT to See on LinkedIn this Year

I’m hopeful that LinkedIn users will resolve to NOT do the following in 2025:

Bitching about Ghosting

“Don’t call us, we’ll call you…” has been around since the 1900s. Ghosting isn’t going away no matter how many annoyed applicants end their posts with “do better.”

#livinginthepast

“Fear” Adverts from “Career” Coaches and Outplacement Firms

The only thing more obnoxious than a 28-year-old wanna-be influencer touting her three years of insight and experience on how to navigate today’s “incredibly challenging” job market is a 32-year old bro touting his superior networking skills. (Daddy and/or your frat bro hooking you up with a gig isn’t the flex you think it is.)

#nepobaby

Sycophants

Unless your ass-kissing is one of your KPIs, spare us.

#embarrassed4U

CEOs, Recruiters, Founders, et al “humble brags”

Stop sniffing for public praise and accolades for the most basic levels of decency.

#needy

Open to Work Banner

Si o No? Stop writing about it!

#NoOneCares

Age Discrimination

You’re a white, Anglo-Saxon male, over 50, and now, for the first time in your ENTIRE life, you’re finding that you’re not in the preferred demographic? WOW, what must that feel like!?! Tell me more about how unfair corporate life is! Twenty-five years in tech, I’m sure I don’t know what it’s like to be passed over in favor of some crony C-Student bro or a cheap H1b…

PS: Maybe it isn’t age discrimination? Maybe the field has leveled, and you really aren’t all that? Try working “twice as hard,” like the rest of the underachievers you used to look down upon!

#whiner

WFH v. RTO

If you don’t want to work on site, don’t. If you want to go into an office, go. Stop trying to convert the heathens. You’re as likely to convince a MAGA supporter that tariffs are inflationary.

#snore

“Behold” my Achievement

Unless you just won the Nobel Prize, no one is interested in your Udemy, Coursera or company-training certs. Add them to your profile.

Your kids? #facebook

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January 8, 2025 0

Three (Easy) New Year’s Resolutions

If you’re resolving to lose weight, save money or pay off debt, there are other blog posts to read. If you’re thinking you need more achievable goals, here’s a couple for you…..

Torn, Ripped, Stained, Chipped? It’s Outta Here!

Several decades ago, I promised myself that I would not keep anything – no matter how dear — that was torn, ripped, stained or chipped. Even if it meant that I had one plate, one fork, and one shirt, I wanted everything I owned to be something I loved, and in perfect condition.

Turns out that was not only a good psychological move, but a good financial one as well. As I look around my home now, I’m a woman who has everything and needs nothing. Why? Every single thing I own is in perfect condition. I love every item. Nothing is a tattered placeholder until I could afford something better. Nothing is in storage or “saved for nice.” I use and enjoy every single nice thing I own. Nice is now.

I use and enjoy every single thing I own. Nice is now.

We all hesitate to toss things. We have a thrifty inner voice that says “But, I paid so much for this, it’s not so bad,” or “I love this <item>, it’s only a few stains…..” Worse: “I can <fix> this , and then I could make a lot of money….” We end up surrounded by junk, that keeps us stuck both physically and mentally.

Things wear out. Glasses break. Tee Shirts rip. Get rid of them when they do. Don’t surround yourself with old, broken, or stained items. If it’s worth keeping, housing, and air-conditioning, it should be in perfect condition. If it’s not, throw it out.

If It Doesn’t Fit (You MUST Git’Rit!)

Conventional advice says that if you haven’t worn it in a year, get rid of it. This advice is outdated. Why? My clothing is more than just a couple pairs of shorts, it’s an investment. While I don’t wear a suit everyday, I still need one or two. I don’t have occasion to wear an evening gown or cocktail dress every year, but I’m not going to throw out my elegant black dress because I haven’t worn it in a year. Another example: I don’t go hiking every weekend, I still want (and need), the appropriate footwear and gear.

Occasion and investment clothing notwithstanding: If your closet is stuffed with clothing in a variety of sizes, do yourself a favor and get rid of everything that doesn’t fit you perfectly, and then get rid of everything that you don’t feel fabulous in. And, I mean everything. If you’ve lost weight, get rid of your fat clothes. If you’ve gained weight, get rid of those clothes you’re “going to fit into” when you (finally) lose weight. PS: When you do lose weight, your body isn’t going back to what it was, it will be different. Buy clothes that fit your new body.

“It doesn’t matter how rich you are, how accomplished you are, or how many people love you. None of that matters if you get up in the morning and none of your clothes fit!”

Nothing will make your life easier and your day happier than knowing that every, single thing in your closet fits you – perfectly. If it doesn’t, give it to a friend, sell it on Ebay or donate. In that order…

Hit Unsubscribe

We’re all inundated with newsletters, coupons, and on-line sale notifications. Worse: If you’re looking for a job, or car, or anything that asks for an email, your address is immediately sold to some on-line newsletter organization who will hit you with hundreds of emails a week.

While many of these go to Spam, take the time to cull the notifications you want to see from those you could do without. Yes, I did buy some jewelry from QVC, but no, I don’t want an email from them everyday.

I know what QVC is and what they sell. If I’m shopping, I’ll hit them up then. I don’t need an email every day.

Instead of hitting delete, take three seconds more and hit unsubscribe. Very quickly you’ll see that those three seconds add up to saving real time when you cull through your mailbox, and time is the most valuable thing we have (except for health!).

Out with the old, in with the new! Happy New Year!

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December 29, 2024 0

An Ode to Effort

This time of year we set goals. I have goals – but, just like everyone – they change. They get bigger, smaller, or their priority shifts. But, like the Buddha, I have returned from the holiday forest and my mantra for this year is not about goals – it’s about Effort.

Goals are important, but they are secondary – the real value is not in achieving the goal, but in the effort.

Too many dismiss effort. That’s easy to do when there’s money or beauty or natural talent, but these are false idols. What we really admire is the effort. A good job, good home, good relationships, good health, good food, good body, good sex…they aren’t a finish-line goal. They require effort.

Too often we ignore making the effort, especially when it’s small, because we are blinded by getting or having that big goal.

Too often we excuse ourselves, “I know I should make more of an effort….” Or worse, if our satisfaction is not immediate, or our effort isn’t recognized and lauded, we lament, “I’m tired of making the effort.”

We all have goals unaccomplished because of effort. That crowded storage space. Relationships you can’t get out of (or into). The stagnant career. Those extra 20 lbs., that are leaning into 30 now. Effort.

Sometimes it’s easy; sometimes it’s hard, but easy or hard, effort is about time management and consistency. This is where we need to embrace the notion that effort is both a means and an end. Like honor or integrity…it’s a gift you give to yourself.

Effort, like love, is not a zero-sum game. Effort is never about reciprocity because we never run out of effort, and, like love, we can easily manifest more of it whenever we desire.

So, for 2024, my focus is less on achieving, having, or getting, and more on consistently making an effort.

Happy New Year!

January 3, 2024 1

Three Post-Covid Reasons Your Project is Failing

Projects fail for all kinds of reasons – here’s a few things that are different after Covid…..

You’re Trying to Manage a Team on Chat

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not anti-IM. Chat, and its appropriately named cousin, Slack, are fine for a QQ to an individual or small group. What it doesn’t take the place of is a well-run meeting, goals, action items, workflow tools, documented requirements, baseline reporting, status, deliverables – ya know – the “work.”

It’s amazing how many people think nothing of constantly interrupting their highly-paid resources to insist they participate in circuitous Chat threads. Pre-Covid, no one would have ever said to their boss or co-workers, “Follow me around today and listen to all my conversations. That way, you’ll know what I’m doing.” How is constantly being interrupted by chat any different?

Talk is cheap, and the cheapest of all talk is chat.

I recently attended a meeting with a client’s finance team. They were proposing changes to their enterprise Rev Req process. Flow chart? Business Rules? Requirements? SOW? Nope, the guy pulls up a chat from three days ago, and proceeds to add people to the thread – really?

Talk is cheap, and the cheapest of all talk is chat. If you want to be 100% sure that your project will run over budget, over schedule, and your team will be lost in the chum and churn of incomplete direction, “manage” your projects via Chat.

Drug Problems

Maybe you heard: The United States has a drug problem, and that drug problem definitely has gotten worse since Covid. I’ve spent more than a decade working as a Fixer, and I can tell you that the root cause of more than one project / business failure is a key individual (or several individuals) with a drinking or drug problem.

It’s important to keep in mind that just because someone isn’t shit faced drunk at work doesn’t mean they don’t have a drinking problem. “Functional” drunks will insist that they’re not drinking during work hours; ergo, they don’t have a drinking “problem.” However, the effects of their drinking are evident. They’re chronic no-shows. They’re constantly sick, late, a million doctor, dentist, and food poisoning excuses for not showing up. Forget about a morning meeting. They can’t get out of bed. They’re unreliable. They can’t complete anything. When confronted, they will push their work (and blame) on to others. They vacillate between belligerent, and a professional victim, which makes you want to avoid them and assign their tasks to others, which is exactly what they want. #enabler

Another Post-Covid change is the ubiquity of Adderall and its many cousins. Unlike the drunk – who can’t accomplish anything – the Adderall Overachiever thinks they’re super-super productive! They have no problem calling you at 10 PM (spinning like a dreidel) because they really, really need your help with the font for tomorrow’s PowerPoint presentation. (Hint: NOT Comic Sans)

About 10 years ago, I had the great misfortune to work with a man who had a serious Meth problem. I was green in my career, and a deer in the headlights; I didn’t know what I was dealing with then. Now, I know the signs. And, when I see people sniffing, unfocused, babbling, spinning, and looking exhausted, I don’t think they’re “high energy” or insomnia, or allergies – I know they have an amphetamine problem.

I work in a business that is complicated, difficult, and dense, and the last thing I need is someone so jacked-up they cannot follow even the most basic conversation.

Since Covid, I’ve seen a rise in upper use in two groups: Women (trying to do it all) and new grads, many of whom are just not used to working 8-10 hours a day, day-after-day, week-after-week. Both of these groups are trying to “cram” their lives, loves, and responsibilities into too-few hours. And, much like Lucy in the Chocolate Factory, they are failing.

If you find yourself in a situation where you have a client or (god forbid) a boss with a drug problem, start looking for a job immediately. Forget about HR, or confronting anyone. This situation is NOT win-able. There’s nothing you are going to do, nothing you are going to say that will make that person change. Nothing. Not anger. Not sympathy. Nothing.

Life isn’t an “Afterschool Special.” It’s more like “Intervention.” It will take you about 2-3 months to figure out what going on. Once you do, create space between you and Adderall Annie, or Day-Drinkin’-Dan, and funnel ALL your energy into your exit plan. If you don’t, this person will eventually “Nurse Jackie” you. You’ll be fired, blamed for everything, and they will continue on as they have before.

You’re Still in Crisis Mode

It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since the advent of Covid. When it hit, all business rules were thrown aside, and “Crisis Mode,” took the place of planning. Business pivoted their e-com sites to accommodate a flood of delivery methods, “Essential” workers were defined, money was quickly appropriated (no business case needed), to mission-critical efforts – every fiber of our corporate being was in crisis management mode.

Here’s the problem: Humans are creatures of habit, and crisis mode has become our new habit.

During Covid, workers capitulated to excessive demands for overtime. Now? Quite quitting and labor strikes are in the news. And, it’s not just workers who are setting boundaries. Check signers are waking up as well. During the past two years no one paid any attention to ROI, cost-benefit, roadmapping, priorities – who had time for that mammsy-pammsy stuff? We’re in a crisis!

Covid was like a big fire; no one questioned thousands of people carrying buckets of water. Now, the smoke has cleared, and we realize that if we had better equipment, we wouldn’t need as many people with buckets.

You’ve surely heard corporate leaders feigning apologies as they layoff “over-hired” water bearers. All companies are evaluating their staffing, their roadmaps, and even their missions. But, what corporate leadership is not saying is that in just two years, they’ve actually become a bit rusty (and a little too comfortable with Slacking-in direction). Many have fallen out of the practice of truly managing a business. Now, we’re starting to hear again questions like: What, exactly, are your metrics? Where’s the market research? Where’s the business case for the $1.3 system upgrade? What’s the ROI? Where’s the depreciation schedule? Projects that cannot answer these questions are being axed, and the bucket brigade is being axed with ’em…

Final Thoughts…

Complacency is frequent companion of hubris, and even though making it through the past few years is an accomplishment, don’t think that it’s a vaccination against failure. The world has changed, but the purpose of business has not. The goal of running a business is to make a profit, not just have a high stock price.

The next couple years are going to be rough. Regardless of your press, your followers, or your brand: If you’re not running your business well, running your projects well, and making a profit, you won’t be here much longer.

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February 3, 2023 0

The Real Reason Men Want You Back in the Office: They’re Lonely

The demand we all return to the office (so we can all hang out together) seems to come from predominantly men. Why?

They all admit that working at home has not effected the ability of employees to complete their tasks and achieve their goals. Without productivity metrics (something greatly loved pre-Covid) to bolster their argument, these executives are forced to rely upon qualitative and anecdotal reasonings. This is when you’ll hear your c-level overlord wax nostalgic for their pre-Covid Corporate Camelot, how awesome it was, and how this beautiful, perfect culture needs to be proselytize and, if that doesn’t work, brutally enforced.

Corporate culture is a pyramid. There are a few people at the top – literally – on those upper floors, in those big offices with the windows. If you’re really important, the “corner” office with multiple windows. Where are the people holding up the base and sides of the pyramid? Downstairs, in a cube, with the rest of the subjects to be ruled.

I’ve spent 30 years working in some of the biggest corporations at the highest levels, and it has not escaped my attention – nor the attention of labor — that corporate culture is little more than a relic of the Edwardian era. Instead of Dukes, Duchess, Prince and Princesses, we now have Executive VPs, Directors of <stuff>, and assorted lords and ladies of the court who are swept up in the largess of executive coattails.

I’m not down on corporate fat-cats. Being one is kind of sweet. And, what a killer job! What you say goes! No arguments, no need to compromise. Corporate executives are literally surrounded by the fear and trembling of compliant subordinates. When the boss says jump, people jump! Ya know where that doesn’t happen? Every place else on Earth!

There’s a lot to unpack in the WFH debate. Let’s start with the basics:

Men are Lonely.

Men are lonely. They have few friends. They have no women friends. That “culture” they’re bemoaning? It’s an office where they can shoot the shit with the boyz and go to lunch with the gurls. The words “comradery” and “collaboration,” soo important, are thrown into the mix. What that really means is they miss hangin’ with their buddies, and what men really miss is the company of women – women who understand their work, women who laugh at their jokes, women who aren’t their wives. In short: They miss having friends.

Why don’t men have friends? There’s a lot of reasons, but the primary one is that men don’t have friends unless their wives approve of them. This is probably the worst thing about being in a relationship if you’re a guy. Suddenly, every single person in your life must have the nod of your SO. If she doesn’t like ’em, you’re not going to be friends anymore. Female friends? Forget that – they’re toast.

Men aren’t permitted to have female friends unless she’s his sister, and then only with your woman’s approval!

I work in tech. Not surprisingly most of the people I work with are men. My SO works in HR. The majority of his colleagues are women. Should I demand that my man never socialize with his work colleagues? Lunch with the girls? Nope – He should sit in his cube, alone. Happy hour? Not unless I’m there to supervise and approve. What about my work buddies? Am I permitted to have a few beers with the guys after work? What about travel? Should I pass on dinner, and stay in my room and read?

The f-d upness of relationships, love, friendships is a topic for another article, but I think we can all agree that men, in general, lead kind of lonely lives. That needs to change, but making me drive 45-minutes to an office (on my time and dime) so you can feel good about yourself isn’t the way to do it.

Men Derive Their Status from Work.

Our culture associates the value of a man with the job he has. It’s not right, but it is. At work, you’re the VP of this or the director of that. Those titles convey a rank, status. You’re treated with some respect, reverence because of your title. You know where highly-paid and highly-respected C-level men don’t derive status and respect? Having dinner with their 14-year old.

Sheryl Sandberg wants us to lean in, take a seat at the table, and, ultimately sit at the head of the table. Here’s the thing: In the virtual world, there’s no table. Bob Iger is just a little square — like everyone else. In fact, if you’re not talking on your vid, you might not even be on screen. How’s everyone supposed to know that they should be focused on you when you’re not sitting in the power-position at the table, and they’re not in your corner office with your big desk and that killer view of the skyline?

Video calls don’t convey status. You’re a little square – like everyone else.

This is where I see the generation gap the most. Those men who are young in their careers, and guys with young families are not “office-centric,” certainly not in the way men were back in the day. But, if you’re one of those Boomers and Gen Xers whose defined your life and persona by the status you derive from your job, it’s not likely you’re going to give up the trappings of a culture that sees you as a Grand Duke. And I don’t blame you one bit! Doesn’t everyone want be be surrounded by the adoring and obedient?

I Hate My Spouse (and/or Kids)

I think it’s safe to say that there are lots of people who aren’t exactly living the marriage dream. Their attraction to their spouse left years ago. Staying together for the children? Yep. Leading separate lives. You betcha! Grinding it out until <something happens>. Absolutely. What’s a few more years? You’ve been doing it this long, and you’re at work most of the time, right? Except now you’re not…

You can’t avoid your family and its responsibilities when you’re working from home.

When you go to an office, you have a safe place to hang. Getting in early, and staying late is the easiest way to avoid your spouse. If you make a decent amount of cash, there can be travel with your adoring and obedient friends, and team happy hours and dinners where you get to hang with the boyz, pick up the check, and be “the man.” Housework, errands, child care, shopping – so droll! You have people for that! And, besides, you’re at work! You can’t be responsible for honey-do’s if you’re never home. Even better, if you work all the time, you have a solid reason not to do anything but sleep and play video games when you are home. Nirvana.

Final Thoughts….

There’s no doubt that old-school-old-boys want “workers” to return to the office. Why? To support their “culture” – a culture where (mostly white) dudes are happily at the top of the ladder. It’s nice up there. They have windows, and lots of natural light….

It doesn’t matter what your title is; When you’re home, there’s no reason you can’t start the dishwasher …

Lowly cubical dwellers also know that despite the #Elon, #BobIger #JamieDimon edicts and hoopla, demands all workers return to the office are largely ignored by the executive ranks, and riddled with exceptions for other groups and individuals. Executives never really worked in the office anyway. Many travel, work from home whenever they feel like it and, for the most part, they come and go as they please. What bosses do like is to being surrounded by their buddies and loyal subjects when the DO decide to come in. And, what they really don’t like is that the freedom to come and go – the freedom that was conferred upon them by their status and rank – has been inadvertently (and many feel undeservedly) bestowed upon their subjects!

The move away from the office and into virtual work is yet another example of precipitous decline of the white male empire. That decline has been facilitated by Internet and VPN technology, and it is continuing with the slow but steady elimination of the symbols of corporate hierarchy and status: The corner office, the assistant, the private conference room, the preferred parking, the jet. These have been replaced with an avatar and a disembodied voice, which forces everyone to focus on what is said and done – not the rank, title, height, weight, clothing, desk or any other distraction.

May be it’s not such a bad thing.

February 1, 2023 0

Four Reasons People Just Don’t Want to Work (for YOU!)

Employer’s are facing a long-overdue reckoning, and like all reckonings, rather than reflect inward, the focus for many has been external. They’re angry at their inability to control events, and blame others for their predicament.

The blame du jour: Lazy people, who don’t want to work…
……for you.
(Never has a prepositional phrase been more important!)

Here’s four reasons why …..

You’re Disinterested and Indifferent

Consider a job applicant who is bored, disinterested, and going-through-the-motions in the interview. Even worse, what if the applicant were rude, curt, or clearly not listening? Would you hire them? Of course not.

Employers are being interviewed by labor, and they’re blowing it because many of your hiring managers simply do not know how to behave in an interview. They’re rude, disinterested, and entitled. As a result, people just don’t want to work for you. Do you blame them?

You Took Too Long

You’re bored, disinterested, and then call me three weeks (three months!) later and say now you’ve decided to hire me, and I need to call you back right away….yeah, right.

The days of “keeping your resume on file…” went out with the Selectric typewriter. It doesn’t work that way. (It really never worked that way.)

A tight labor market is like a tight housing market. Be prepared to act quickly, compromise, and pay over asking. If you can’t do that, stay out of the market until you’re serious about buying.

You Came in Under my Minimum

Too many employers tell you they can pay your asking price but really have no intention of doing so. Similar to the housing market, the idea is that once the applicants’ commit to the hiring process, they will become so “invested” in closing the deal, that they will capitulate on their original ask for compensation.

This is not the market in which to call people’s salary “bluff.”

If I tell you that I’m seeking $45/hr, you drag me through weeks of interviews only to offer me $43/hr (wink), I’m not amused or impressed with your negotiation savvy, I’m pissed.

Result: I ghost you. I tell all my friends what an asshole you are, and (possibly) post a negative Glassdoor review – permanently damaging your brand. All for the bargain price of $2 an hour. Well done.

You’re Too Far Away

If you’re in a business where I can’t work virtually, the time and distance of my commute may make any job – regardless of compensation – difficult to fill. Restaurants in expensive urban areas, or hard-to-get-to resort communities have the additional challenge of the high cost of living making it unlikely any of the help would be housed in the immediate vicinity.

Consider a commute bonus, or other ways to mitigate that expense for your employees. Otherwise, you’re going to be short-staffed, and the staff you do have will be overworked making them much more likely to quit.

Finally…

This labor shortage didn’t just happen – it’s been coming for decades – the perfect storm of Covid, bad corporate behavior, retirement/death, and ubiquitous social media has weakened the stool upon which capitalism has balanced for decades.

Historically, businesses never worried about competing against one another for talent. Now that they must complete, many simply do not know how.

If you’re still clinging to the notion that the tight labor market is about lazy millennials or enhanced unemployment benefits, and any minute we’re going to “go back” to the way it was, you’re flat-out wrong. Our world, has fundamentally changed, and if there’s one thing we know about change is that it never changes back!

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If you enjoyed this article, check out some of my my posts and podcasts on employment, interviewing, and the contingent job market. Thanks for reading!

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July 28, 2021 0

Phishing for Employment Docs

Of course, you would never provide a telemarketer or Nigerian Prince your passport, credit card, or banking information. Those we know. But what if it were a Zoom call, and then you were offered a great job? How much diligence would you do before you turned over your ID, SSN, DOB, and a whole bunch of other personal financial info?

Phishers are using Video

Here’s how it works: You are a high-income individual. You are contacted by a head hunter and asked to interview for a position at a desirable, well-known corporation. The video interview goes well, and a day or two after the call, you receive a verbal offer (via the agent or “implementation partner”) and a request to start ASAP. Congratulations! So happy for you!! Now, please provide passport, social security, bank account, DOB so they can expedite your offer letter. You never hear from them again.

Signs of a Phisher

There’s a HUGE rush for you to start; they need your info ASAP
Everything is verbal. You email, they call. You ask for docs, they call.
They want a “deposit” for your equipment, a credit card is fine…what’s the security code?
Staffing or “implementation partner” has a thin website. No corporate officers, no street address, no phone numbers, no contact information.
You’re not 100% sure to whom you report.
Offer, contract, or SOW is coming soon. When it does, it looks like it was put together by a 3-year old.

Trust Your Gut

In all cons, the mark inevitably says, “I knew something was wrong..…” Closely followed by, “But, everyone was SO nice!”

The con is counting on your want of the job. Stay focused. Even if its a dream job (and they always are), if something seems off, don’t ignore your Spidee-sense! Cons are charming and charismatic; that’s how they gain your CONfidence !

Remember: Just because there’s a person on video asking you questions that doesn’t mean they are who they say they are. Anyone can ask a question, and far too many interviews are completely one-sided!

Cons choose common names, so they’re hard to Google. Others Catfish legitimate LinkedIn profiles, especially if they lack profile pictures. Did the “client” vid-in or not? Do you have legitimate contact information? Multiple email domains with multiple parties? Offshore? If so, you have reason to be concerned.

Do Your Diligence

Before you turn over your ID and financial information to a staffing agent or prospective employer, be sure that you’ve done your diligence! You have a real contract, employee handbook, and benefit package. Ensure you understand who owns the company, where they are physically located, and who, exactly, is responsible for paying you. If you have any concerns, be sure to contact your prospective manager or client contact. Get all your questions answered – in writing – before you turn over any of your personal information.

Say Nothing

Once you’ve discovered the con, cut-off all contact, and resist the urge to call them out on it! They will only assure you that you are mistaken, and details you impart about how you caught on, what they did wrong, where they were sloppy, will only help them to improve their process. Check your ego. Click delete. Select Block. And, keep your brilliance to yourself!

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If you enjoyed this article, check out some my posts and podcasts on employment, interviewing, and the contingent job market. Thanks for reading!

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July 26, 2021 0